Well I won’t keep

Sleep tiem.

If I’m not mistaken, I believe this is the end of Chapter Five! Huzzah!! Chapter Six starts Friday, unless I somehow figure that I need just one more page for Chapter Five. But I doubt it. :D

6 Responses to “Well I won’t keep”

  1. Tom Says:

    HAH! BUURRRRRN!

    Sorta reminds me of a Lex Luthor story John Byrne did years ago. Billionaire Luthor has lunch at a rural diner and offers to take this really hot, married-to-a-devoted-loser waitress away from her drab life and take her to Metropolis as his consort. He leaves the diner, giving her five minutes to think it over as he waits outside in his limo. The waitress is basically told “go for it” by her fellow platejockeys, and she does – only to find that Lex has split the scene. He explains to his limo driver that he just wanted to tempt the woman – that he had no intention of following through on the offer – and that she’d spend the rest of her life living with her decision and her dreams of What Might Have Been.

    And if you really needed another six panels (assuming the Halloween story’s not continued in chapter 6), you could always show ALL of Navy’s predictions coming true – Emo self-destructing, “Metroid” holding court, etc – and a pissed Navy sitting there among it all, having been abandoned by Anne thanks to Shea’s meltdown.

  2. mayor of moose river Says:

    TOM: Yeah but I think Jorge has a legitimate interest in Betty, and he’s not doing this just to show her up or somethin’. And man… I sure the hell hope people don’t think I’m copying that Lex Luthor story… :(

    As for Navy at the party, I think I’ll just skip that bit and end things right now. I’m sure that later on down the road I’ll add in a retcon page because I have this nagging, itchy feeling in the back of my head that I’m still missing something… but I’ll deal with that later.

  3. Tom Says:

    Would that something be elaborating on Thad’s reaction to seeing Anne leave the party? Or whether Avery scored with The New Girl?

    And I don’t think anyone thinks you’re copying someone else’s story content. I suspect I’m one of the very, very few people who recall that one Lex Luthor story out of a million Superman stories, and that’s only because it was in a current issue when I read it. I wouldn’t worry.

  4. mayor of moose river Says:

    TOM: I dunno what that something will be. Otherwise I would be posting it before I start Chapter Six! ;) Seeing as Chapter Five is a good thirty four pages (the second largest chapter thus far), I don’t think I need to add anything else. But who knows for sure? … I am considering to consider rephrasing Jorge’s lines. I want him to sound like he wants Betty (because he does), and that he’s pleased that Betty seems to want him. I don’t know if I got that down precisely as I intended… I think I have him pleased that Betty seems to like him, at least. What do you think?

    As for the Superman copycat deal, phew! [wipes forehead] That’s one less thing I need to worry about.

  5. Tom Says:

    Well, if you were thinking of retooling Jorge’s lines such that they sound less ambiguous about his feelings, I would. Because at least from my standpoint it came across more like “rubbing her nose in what might have been” rather than “continued heartfelt pining for someone who, frankly, doesn’t deserve it”.

    Maybe if she whipped out the flavored rubbers she’d have done better…

  6. mayor of moose river Says:

    TOM: Hmmm, well if you can see it, I just might have to rework what Jorge says then.

    However, now my chief concern with Jorge’s character is that his overall situation might end up being blown off as being too cliche. That is to say… I’ve pretty much had his whole deal worked out in my head since the beginning. But in doing Jorge’s story for Chapter Five here and getting feedback from people, it’s starting to appear that how his story with Betty ends will be exactly what people expect will happen, which is not what I want. Well…. I guess I’ll just have to do it and fix it when it ends up appearing to be broke then. Or maybe I’ll give such a “classic” story a new twist.

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